Now that we have kids

I was reminded yesterday of things we (my Hubbie and I) said B. C. (Before Children).   Ironically, many parents say that they have changed how they thought they would parent completely after they had their kids.  We have not.  We actually watched all of our siblings parenting skills.  We discussed what we liked and what we didn't like about their parenting styles.  We talked about what type of adults we want our children to grow into and what they would need to get there.  I truly believe that the hours upon hours of observation and discussion, has guided to only have slight changes in what we thought it would be like and what it is like for our little ones. 

B. C. List

1. We had said that we would not worry about our volume when our kids were sleeping because we wanted them to sleep through anything.

2. We would not let them use pacifiers.

3. We would make their baby food.

4. We would instill manners in them.

5. We would use cloth diapers.

6. We would teach them to drink from a cup.

7. We would limit television.

8. We wouldn't let our children be the kids in the restaurant with the video games.

9. We said we would teach our child to stand up for himself and use his words if their was a problem instead of his fists.

10. We said we'd treat our children like they understand us and not treat them like they were babies. (For example, if a bird is a goose, I would call it a goose and say that it is a type of bird.)

A. C. List (After Children)

We are doing everything we said B.C. with only slight variations.

1. We are loud after the kids are asleep.  We wait until we are sure they are asleep and then, we laugh, we play games, we watch television and only if we hear them up, do we lower our volume again.  

2. Never used pacifiers.  I admit we tried it in a few desperate moments of "shut this kid up."  But our kids spit them out, so we said, "I guess they knew we really didn't want them to use them."

3. Yep, I made baby food.  I have not made as much for baby #2, but I have made it for each one of them and it is easy to do but it is just a matter of time.

4. We focus on manners, all day, every day.

5. We use cloth diapers at home and disposable when we leave the house for long errands.  So, they are in cloth about 75% of the time. 

6. My 1st did use a cup first.  And we did have a ton of spills, but it is worth it.  Now, he can have a drink at anyone's house. (People that don't have kids, don't have sippy cups.)  My second just grabbed a cup for the first time last week but I will admit he used a straw .  So, we will do the same for him. 

7. We do limit tv and all screen time.  Although again I admit, we let our son watch more than I thought we would but it is definitely not on, all day, every day.

8.  Video games in restaurants are still not what we want.  When our son gets antsy, we try to engage him in conversation.  Then we break out the coloring pages.  Next, if it is needed, we pull out cars for him to race around the table.  And as an absolute last resort, we will pull out a phone for him to play on.  It is as a last resort though, not the first option. 

9.  I am amazed by how confident my son has become.  He will speak up to his eight year old cousin, if he doesn't want to do something, and he will speak up for what he wants.  

10. Do you understand me?  Yes.  Well, so does my son.  I don't want to dumb it down for him either.  My 1st was actually just complimented by a stranger about how articulate he speaks.  Score one parents!

Are you different now that you have kids?  Or if you don't have kids, do you have strong views of what you will be like as a parent? 

I think I have just written an outline for 10 topics.  Too funny how one thought leads to ten others that need to get flushed out.