Weigh In- Week 5

I went to my meeting tonight and I had weighed myself prior to going (as usual). But this time, I was impatiently waiting for my husband to come home and so I weighed myself three separate times!  And the pissy thing about it was that each time my weight was higher then the last.  So, of course I am getting more panicked.  I wanted to reach my 5% goal tonight and if the number was going up, how could I? Well, I tried and tried to get rid of the anxiety and finally, phew, my hubbie got home and I ran out of the door to the meeting.

Then when I got there I had to wait even longer.  I had two people in front of me and then another person cut in front of me.  So, I waited as the meeting started.  Then I weighed in and success!  I lost another 1.2 pounds and I reached and exceeded my 5% initial goal.  Now my next target is my 10%, but for tonight I am just feeling happy!  Yes, I can and WILL do it!!

Weigh In- Week 4

So, let me answer the question I put out there to all of you. I weigh myself many times a day, every day.  I have the scale right outside of my bathroom.  So after I shower or go to the bathroom, I weigh myself.  I am a bit obsessive about it but I can't seem to stop it.  My husband has told me that I should stop because I get worked up about my number when I do not see it going down but I see it going up.  I also get really annoyed when it stays the same too.  Now, I justify it to myself and I justified to my husband too by saying that I read that if you weigh yourself daily you are more likely to lose weight because you are more accountable to your weight loss journey.  I truly did read this but it probably doesn't mean weighing yourself 5 to 10 times a day.  On weigh in days I weigh myself more than my average.  I kind of want to stop the compulsive nature of my weigh ins but I can't seem to stop.

Oh well, with that being said, I weighed before I went to my Weight Watcher meeting.  I always do this!  This time I was up.  What the F***!  How could I be up!  I was perfect with my points all week and I should not, no I could not be up!  Right there, I felt like I failed.  I even told my husband, "Yep, I gained this week."  So, I would just have to go to the meeting and see...


After weigh in...

I am down 1.2 pounds!!!!!  Woohoo!!!  How is that possible?  Well, like I said, I have been perfect with my points.  I should be down.  Thank goodness I am.  I do not know what I will do when I really do have a week where I gain weight.  I think I may actually shed some tears.  But that will wait.  This week, I celebrate in the fact that I loss.  And with that loss, it brings me within range of 5% off of my body weight lost.  I told myself, I wouldn't buy new clothes until I had lost 10%.  So, if it takes me 5 weeks to lose 5%, I would predict at least another 7 weeks to lose another 5% bringing me into September.  I know I could do it faster if I would drink more water AND exercise. Hmmm...that gives me somethings to think about...

Good night everyone. Dream of a healthy, happy you! I know that is what I am going to do. :)

How often do you weigh yourself?

How often do you weigh yourself?

Never- I hate the scale!
Occasionally- Whenever the mood hits my fancy
Once a week- just at a meeting or at home to check in
2-7 times a week- checking regularly is good, right?
Multiple times a day- a bit obsessive, but I just need to know

Please leave your answer in my comments.

Within the next couple of days, I will tell you my answer.  I am very curious about yours!

Stats

No not my stats!  Ha ha!  My blog's stats.  Every time I log into my account I check my stats.  I guess, just as you may be interested in what I have to say, I am interested in who is looking.  In a way, it is the opposite of be voyeur.  You are watching me and I am looking back through the window of the laptop to say, "hello."  Maybe that sounds weird, but it is mutually beneficial or at least I hope it is.

Today I got excited to see that in one month my blog got looked at 103 times!  How cool is that!  My husband, who works on computers, did burst my bubble when I was at about 35 views that some computers, not people, are set to "read" blogs and that those computers might be making my number go up.  *Pop*  That was my bubble bursting.  Did you see it fizzle?  But now, it feels like all of those 103 can't just be computers.  My bubble is re-inflating.

So, thank you to all the real people who are reading this blog!

Teething

My little guy is teething something fierce.  I feel horrible for him because of how little I can really do except hold him and love him.  But the crying and whining is getting very old.  By the time my husband gets home I am done with it.  I have tried teethers that I get straight from the fridge.  He does like them, but quickly throws them to the ground and then precedes to whine more.  I've also rubbed his gums and given him teething tablets.  I have tried baby orajel.  All of it to no avail.  My son is in pain and although I should feel sympathy or worry at this point I truly just feel annoyed.  Please baby, just push those darn teeth out!! We both need the relief.

Any other ideas?

Weigh In- Week 3

I always weigh myself before I go weigh in at Weight Watchers.  Why do I do it?  Because I am curious and because I think I will somehow be able to will the weight off within the twenty minutes of weighing at home and weighing in at the meeting.  Well when I weighed in at home I was almost exactly what I had been the last week.  UGH!!  I was pissed at myself.  I had done such a great job all week and then I blew it all on my anniversary.  I ate and drank a ton.  I literally had all of my "bonus points" within my few hours of going out.  I planned for this "failure" but when I saw that damn number staring back at me, I felt like it was saying, "Ha ha! See you can't do it."  Dang it, why am I such a defeatist?  I pulled myself out of it and reassured myself that I am in it for the long haul and I would just face it and go weigh in.  In past times, I would skip a meeting if I knew I had gained.  Or I would just eat in my moment of being pissed at myself.  But not this time.  I went and weighed in and...


I lost 1.6 pounds!  Woohoo!!!


Okay, I need to stop the negative self talk.  I am just so thankful for this blog, because it is so insightful for me to see my feelings in print.

Anniversary

Eleven years of marriage.  Wow! Life is so different then when I first got married to my hubbie.  We are obviously older and now we have two sons and a dog.  Both of us have careers, even if mine is on hiatus for a year.  We have both lost family members and gained others. After 11 years of marriage and 16 years for being together, I have learned I can depend on him for everything.  I trust him and he is my best friend.  I am not saying we don't have tough times, but we talk and get through them.  I have definitely found a keeper.  :)

Hard control day

Today is a tough one.  I do not want to stop eating and I am feeling overwhelmed.  Sadly, I think it is because I know I will be alone with the boys all day without support in the evening.  That is a bit pathetic when so many single parents live this lone parenting day in and day out.  To those of you in that position, bravo to you!

I, on the other hand, love knowing I will have support for the boys at the end of the day. My husband almost always swoops in and "rescues" me when he gets home from work.  I have literally told him, "I am done" as he has walked through the threshold and he has said, "Okay, just relax, I've got it."  Goodness, I love that man!  Normally when he gets home though, we just divide and conquer.  One of us takes the kids, while the other cooks dinner and then sometimes we swap part way.  It is a great balance.  But today the idea of having no "end" in sight is a bit daunting.  Which means, I have eaten and eaten.  I still have points left and there are always the extra points, but I am trying to save those for Sunday.  My hubbie and I will be celebrating our eleventh wedding anniversary by dropping the kids off at my in-laws and going to a movie and then wine tasting and dinner.  It should be very nice but I know I will eat more then my allotted points and since I have been anal retentive about my points thus far, I want to continue because it is working for me.

So, I need to pull myself together and convince myself that I do not need more to eat.  What I need is a nap and water.  Okay, first I need to get both boys to nap.  This is already in progress. I think my oldest is out but my youngest is fighting it again.  He is cutting teeth and can't seem to get comfortable enough to nap.  Poor little guy because what is happening is he is getting more tired from not napping and then can't handle his gum pain that much more.  Fingers crossed for naps.  Second, I need to get myself a bottle of water.  Check.  Third, don't look at the piles of clean clothes that need to get folded and just go nap.  I am putting on my blinders now and I am off to nap.  I hear the bed calling me or wait, is that my son???

Hope or Control?

Hoping is interesting.  It implies a lack of effort upon yourself to make something happen.  Are we in charge of what we do or make happen or should we just hope something will happen?  I want to believe I am in charge of me, in control of what I say and what I do.

Sometimes though I feel like I am in not in control of me, especially regarding food.  The other night, I had "extra points" that I had not used during the day and I was not really hungry, but I had this urge to eat just to eat.  That way I wouldn't be wasteful.  Because we can't be wasteful, right?  But I did not need to eat, really.  But I did.  I had popcorn, wine, and desert.  I used all of my points and then extra ones.  What a good girl I was, huh.  Ugh.  It amazes me the lack of control that I have with food.  Mind over the matter of food.  Nope.  For me, right now it is the other way around (food over mind).  Anyone else feel this way?  I want control but I guess for now I need to live with hope.

Weigh In-Week 2

I did just as well this week with my points.  I did not use over my "bonus points."  I did use ten more of them but you are allowed to use all of them and so far I haven't.  I am really proud of myself too because this week, my family went to a baseball game and celebrated Fourth of July at my sister's house.  Both of these occasions would easily lead me to eat in excess, but I didn't.  I counted every point and was proud of myself.  The problem is yesterday I started to feel the same feeling I have felt before.  It is weird to describe but I will try.  I start to feel annoyed that I can't eat in excess but guilt that I feel that way.  My body does not metabolize food well because I am lazy and do not exercise.  But I watch some of my friends who eat and drink what seems like anything they want and I want to be like them, but I don't think I will ever get to be by them.   Next, I'm frustrated that the scale is not going down as swiftly as the people on Biggest Loser.  This is a ludicrous expectation, I know.  I mean I am not working out eight hours a day let alone even 30 minutes.  The most exercise I get is lifting up my boys or chasing after them a bit. I guess I just need to wait and see if it all paid off.


After weigh in...

Down 4.8 lbs!  Woohoo!  Super excited about that and it did pay off.

Not a number

You are not a number.  Your value is not less if you weigh more.  Yet, overweight people are treated differently.  Obese people are looked down upon.  I have heard of studies that talk about how obese people are mistreated.  Have you been treated poorly because you are overweight?  I can't say that I have but I know that I have a different mindset about myself and about other overweight people.  Although I am not proud of it I will think when I see overweight people, "I am not as fat as them."  "Do I look like that?"  "How much does that person weigh? I wonder."

Here is some information I found from one study. 

"Sales clerks tend to subtly discriminate against overweight shoppers but treat them more favorably if they perceive that the individual is trying to lose weight, according to a study by Rice University researchers."

Lovely, so when I am getting food I am getting judged too. (I hope you could hear the sarcasm in my type.)  I often have "diet" food in my cart, but seriously I could have all diet items in my cart and I could still gain weight.  I am overweight because I eat too much and I exercise too little.  It is so simple yet so complex.  I have many reasons why I eat and why I don't exercise, but right now it doesn't matter.  Hopefully I can delve into it someday.

I know I am not a number and my number should not chain me down to my obesity, but that is exactly what I feel.  I am trying so hard to let it go but in my shame of that damn number, I can't even put it on my own blog.  Kind of pathetic.  I will put it up one day, when I feel a bit braver.  

Now that we have kids

I was reminded yesterday of things we (my Hubbie and I) said B. C. (Before Children).   Ironically, many parents say that they have changed how they thought they would parent completely after they had their kids.  We have not.  We actually watched all of our siblings parenting skills.  We discussed what we liked and what we didn't like about their parenting styles.  We talked about what type of adults we want our children to grow into and what they would need to get there.  I truly believe that the hours upon hours of observation and discussion, has guided to only have slight changes in what we thought it would be like and what it is like for our little ones. 

B. C. List

1. We had said that we would not worry about our volume when our kids were sleeping because we wanted them to sleep through anything.

2. We would not let them use pacifiers.

3. We would make their baby food.

4. We would instill manners in them.

5. We would use cloth diapers.

6. We would teach them to drink from a cup.

7. We would limit television.

8. We wouldn't let our children be the kids in the restaurant with the video games.

9. We said we would teach our child to stand up for himself and use his words if their was a problem instead of his fists.

10. We said we'd treat our children like they understand us and not treat them like they were babies. (For example, if a bird is a goose, I would call it a goose and say that it is a type of bird.)

A. C. List (After Children)

We are doing everything we said B.C. with only slight variations.

1. We are loud after the kids are asleep.  We wait until we are sure they are asleep and then, we laugh, we play games, we watch television and only if we hear them up, do we lower our volume again.  

2. Never used pacifiers.  I admit we tried it in a few desperate moments of "shut this kid up."  But our kids spit them out, so we said, "I guess they knew we really didn't want them to use them."

3. Yep, I made baby food.  I have not made as much for baby #2, but I have made it for each one of them and it is easy to do but it is just a matter of time.

4. We focus on manners, all day, every day.

5. We use cloth diapers at home and disposable when we leave the house for long errands.  So, they are in cloth about 75% of the time. 

6. My 1st did use a cup first.  And we did have a ton of spills, but it is worth it.  Now, he can have a drink at anyone's house. (People that don't have kids, don't have sippy cups.)  My second just grabbed a cup for the first time last week but I will admit he used a straw .  So, we will do the same for him. 

7. We do limit tv and all screen time.  Although again I admit, we let our son watch more than I thought we would but it is definitely not on, all day, every day.

8.  Video games in restaurants are still not what we want.  When our son gets antsy, we try to engage him in conversation.  Then we break out the coloring pages.  Next, if it is needed, we pull out cars for him to race around the table.  And as an absolute last resort, we will pull out a phone for him to play on.  It is as a last resort though, not the first option. 

9.  I am amazed by how confident my son has become.  He will speak up to his eight year old cousin, if he doesn't want to do something, and he will speak up for what he wants.  

10. Do you understand me?  Yes.  Well, so does my son.  I don't want to dumb it down for him either.  My 1st was actually just complimented by a stranger about how articulate he speaks.  Score one parents!

Are you different now that you have kids?  Or if you don't have kids, do you have strong views of what you will be like as a parent? 

I think I have just written an outline for 10 topics.  Too funny how one thought leads to ten others that need to get flushed out.

First weigh in...

I am a bit nervous.  I weigh in tonight and I really don't know what the scale will say.  I wish I could live int he thought of not just being a number, but boy do I feel that number on my shoulders pushing me down into the scale making me heavier.  I am hopeful that the number will be a bit smaller today.  I tracked, but I also ate almost every single point including the bonus points.  Wish me luck!!


Back from meeting and weigh in...

5 pounds lighter!!

Ways I did it?
I wrote everything down that I ate.  Week 2, I plan on doing more of the same and trying to be careful for all of the potential pitfalls approaching-baseball game, BBQ with friends.

Loopy McLooperson or Mr. Crankers

My oldest son gets like me when he is tired.  He goes one of two ways. 

One way is to become super duper uper schmooper cranky. (Yikes, I have watched way too much Sid the Science Kid. Oh, the life of being a mom.)  When my oldest is tired, watch out.  Now, he is nothing compared to some kids who kick and bite and scream so loud that it seems as if they are trying to peel the paint off the walls.  But it is plenty cranky to me.  He will talk back saying, "No!" or "Bad!"  He screams and cries and if I am here and my husband is not, it is, "I want my daddy."  His most recent addition to this litany of comments is, "I quit" and "Never, never, never."  These are normally all followed by crying or pouting and unfortunately for him usually in conjunction with a timeout.  Fun times-not!  When he is in this lovely state, I call him Mr. Crankers. 

The other path of tiredness is one of being loopy.  He just starts giggling and saying random things.  He wants to sit on our laps and wiggle and tickle us but does not want us to do it back to him.   I call him Loopy McLooperson when he is like this, which he doesn't really enjoy.

Although I call him these playful pet names to be endearing, if it bugs him I stop, but I do call him on his behavior.  I say things like, "You are tired and being cranky.  If you had napped, you wouldn't be behaving this way.  Do you like how you are behaving?"
"No." 
"Then tomorrow, you need to take a nap so you won't be like this again because I don't like it either, okay?"
"Okay."
Short but simple explanation that this could have been avoided.  Today my son is napping.  In fact, both of them are, right now. (Yay, me.) So, no Mr. Crankers tonight, I hope.  Sometimes they both wake up cranky, but that is a topic for another blog. 

These names help me remember that this is not who my son is when he is rested and fed.  It also reminds me that I do not have to take this behavior too seriously and this too shall pass.  In fact, sometimes I laugh out loud and that make Mr. Crankers very upset.  But come on a 3 year old tantrum is kind of funny.  Last, his behavior is age appropriate and I know he will learn to cue into his bodies natural rhythm and take the necessary steps to get out of those "states." 

Or is this just wishful thinking from a mom, that doesn't now better yet? Hmm...