Hoping is interesting. It implies a lack of effort upon yourself to make something happen. Are we in charge of what we do or make happen or should we just hope something will happen? I want to believe I am in charge of me, in control of what I say and what I do.
Sometimes though I feel like I am in not in control of me, especially regarding food. The other night, I had "extra points" that I had not used during the day and I was not really hungry, but I had this urge to eat just to eat. That way I wouldn't be wasteful. Because we can't be wasteful, right? But I did not need to eat, really. But I did. I had popcorn, wine, and desert. I used all of my points and then extra ones. What a good girl I was, huh. Ugh. It amazes me the lack of control that I have with food. Mind over the matter of food. Nope. For me, right now it is the other way around (food over mind). Anyone else feel this way? I want control but I guess for now I need to live with hope.
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