Thursday, July 12, 2012

Hope or Control?

Hoping is interesting.  It implies a lack of effort upon yourself to make something happen.  Are we in charge of what we do or make happen or should we just hope something will happen?  I want to believe I am in charge of me, in control of what I say and what I do.

Sometimes though I feel like I am in not in control of me, especially regarding food.  The other night, I had "extra points" that I had not used during the day and I was not really hungry, but I had this urge to eat just to eat.  That way I wouldn't be wasteful.  Because we can't be wasteful, right?  But I did not need to eat, really.  But I did.  I had popcorn, wine, and desert.  I used all of my points and then extra ones.  What a good girl I was, huh.  Ugh.  It amazes me the lack of control that I have with food.  Mind over the matter of food.  Nope.  For me, right now it is the other way around (food over mind).  Anyone else feel this way?  I want control but I guess for now I need to live with hope.

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