Sleeping Son

Why didn't any one tell me how good it would feel to have your child fall asleep in your arms? Maybe because I would not have gotten it. But now I do.

Ohhh my, it is wonderful! Pure mommy joy! I look down at him sleeping, feeling his warmth and just sigh. Then I wrap my arms around him. I plant a kiss on his forehead and think, "Don't forget this. Remember this moment." Inhale. Exhale. I want to just enjoy his weight upon my chest. Although I know this nap will not last forever at least it is here right now and I can just be thankful for my sleeping son.

Poop is Poop - Formula or Not

Okay, so I was told many times that breastmilk feed baby poop does not smell or at least it does not smell as much as formula feed baby poop. So, hey that was just one more reason to breastfeed my baby because I am disgusted by gross smells. Well, I don't have any formula poop to compare my son's poop to, but poop is poop. It stinks!

I can't believe I am writing about poop. Four months ago this would not have been what I would have written about. Wow, life has changed!

Naptime

I find it amusing how much mom's love naptime. Here I was crying a couple of days ago about how I do not want my maternity leave to be over because I don't want to leave my son. And at this very moment I am enjoying the quiet bliss of naptime. I am not alone in this either. My friend who I saw yesterday has a three week old daughter and as we were sitting there talking her daughter made some noises as though she might wake up. And she said, "No, stay asleep," and rocked her back into her dreams. I get it and have done exactly that! Does that make me a bad mom? Both of my sisters actually mourned the loss of their children's naptimes. Do you mourn the loss of your child's naptime too? I am sure I will, but for now sleep, my little one, sleep.

Husbands

I don't know if your husband is like mine but I am annoyed with mine right now. Don't get me wrong, I don't think what he is doing is wrong, I just wish that I could be doing it too! We were IM'ing on skype and he tells me, "Okay, I'm going to leave my desk and go watch the end of the Giants game at the Bar. When it's over, I'm heading home. " What the fuck! I would love to go to watch a game at a bar, but instead I am at home with my son and feeling well...stuck. Again don't get me wrong...I love spending time with my son, in fact last night I was crying about the fact that my maternity leave is over in two weeks. But, hell...a cocktail and watching a game sounds nice. Doesn't it?

Me...hmmm

So, I am a 32 year old woman. Already you are getting an image in your head, aren't you? Of course you are. But I am "Not the Norm." Now what do you picture? Well, I don't think I am the norm. To start, I am a brand new mom. When do women have kids these days? I looked it up. Thanks internet! In fact, the average age of a first time mom is 25! So, I am 7 years older than all of those many women. I don't feel like I am too old to be starting a family, in fact in some ways I feel too young to have a 4 month old son. I still have places I want to visit and I don't think I could really bring a baby to many of them. In other ways, I feel very old to be having my first child. I mean I am going to be 50 when he turns 18 and that means I won't be able to have a drink with my son until I turn 53. Yikes, I had hoped to have some cocktails with him when he was legal, but will he want to have drinks with his old mom?
I have really curly hair. I mean really curly hair. Watching those women on t.v.who can brush their hair, makes me upset. I can only brush my hair once a day...before I shower. If I were to brush it during the day my hair becomes like a giant cotton ball. But if I don't brush my hair I get dreadlocks. I have had African American women tell me that when my hair is brushed out it makes me one of them. Seriously, I have had multiple people say that to me. My mom told me that when she had us girls (I am the youngest of three girls) that her curls went to us. Her pictures tell that same story, but why is that I am the youngest and I have the most curls? Also, why don't you see women with curls in magazines? When they do makeover shows with people that have curly hair, it seems like 90% of the time they stylist makes their hair straight. Why? Why can't curls be the beautiful look?
Next, the thing that bugs me the most about myself, I am overweight. No, I am not one of those woman who says, "Oh, I am overweight. I have 10 pounds to lose." I have a lot more than that to lose! I don't feel brave enough yet to say how much I have to lose. What I will say is that I gained 41 pounds while I was pregnant and I have lost 36 pounds of that weight! Woohoo, but I have more than 41 more pounds to lose past the 41 I gained during the pregnancy.
So, I have started my blog...a little bit about me...and a little bit about how I am not the norm.